Maybe you find yourself wondering if your neighbor will be annoyed you didn’t support her as an “entrepreneur,” or if you didn’t want to buy Girl Scout cookies from her daughter. There are times when, out of our own fear of being rude or uncomfortable, we make financial choices that aren’t in our best interest. Do you have trouble politely declining a financial request? Here are five ways to help you stick to your budget, your good financial intentions, and your goals when it comes to spending. Morrell suggests intentionally and frequently exposing yourself to small low- to no-risk hardships. She had one client who wanted to stop avoiding the Salvation Army bellringer and felt guilty for not contributing every time. Her client finally worked up to making eye contact with the bellringer but not putting any money in. Another couple had to learn to refuse to go in on group gifts they couldn’t afford. By practicing saying, “our gift budget is depleted until next year,” they learned to handle themselves and prepare for any blowback over not participating. “By focusing on exposing ourselves to tiny discomforts intentionally we toughen up without trauma or failure,” says Morrell. Eventually, you build up resilience and can handle saying no when you can’t contribute to something financially—guilt-free. It’s best to say something about how you appreciate the offer, but now is not the right time, and you will reach out when the time comes. This allows you to buy time and puts you back in control. When his good friend wanted to visit an expensive restaurant, Shapoval knew it wasn’t in that month’s budget. “I told him I can’t go because my budget doesn’t allow for it. But if he would like, I can budget [it] for a later date.” This accomplishes two things—you get in a hard financial no, and an alternative on your own timeline. It says, sure, I’d love to go to that pricey restaurant sometime—but when I can afford it, save up for it, and budget for it. “It sounds silly, but just practice saying no. The more you get used to saying it, the more natural it will become.” Plus, you don’t have to be rude: You can say no politely. Gerstler sometimes has people knock on his door collecting for charity. Some are genuine and some are not. It’s tough to be put on the spot. “So, I decided that I would not give any money directly to collectors at the door, and I tell them that [politely]. I then look up the charity online and will donate to the ones that I want to support at that time.” “I always think that honesty is the best policy in these situations. You must remember that everyone is human and they will have some sympathy for you if you need to be tighter with money, or it needs to be going in another direction,” says Ethan Taub, CEO of Goalry and Loanry, sites that help users reach financial goals and comparison-shop money matters. Instead of putting yourself in financial hardship, just be honest about your money and try offering the truth—or a practiced version such as, “I just can’t swing that right now,” “That’s a little out of my budget,” or “no can do.” There is no counterargument to this. If they’re reasonable, they will not bother you again about it.
